Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. Look, I ain’t in this for your revolution, and I’m not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money. Ye-ha! What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t […]
Why do you think that she is a witch? He hasn’t got stuff all over him. Well, I didn’t vote for you. A newt? Look, my liege! I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your […]
I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick […]
Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. You don’t win friends with salad. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. D’oh. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a […]
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